This is why I don't exercise

I just returned from a most unsuccessful attempt at rollerblading. A MOST unsuccessful attempt.

First, my rollerblades are laced too tight, which means that I now have cankles, upon all other body dysmorphic-inducing issues I am currently struggling with. I didn't realize how "too tight" they were until I was up and rolling, and I decided it was due to lack of use, not due to lack of thin-ness in the ankle area. I was wrong.

Second, it has been raining on and off all day, and my wheels kept slipping on the damp concrete. Enough said.

Third, and this one is the most important: we live in an area surrounded by little hills. Little STEEP hills. More than 5 times on my approximately 10 minute ride I found myself careening down a hill that only increased in pitch, causing me no end of hysteria. The hill that did me in was luckily surrounded by flat grass, blessedly grass that went all the way to the street. I realized on this last one that I was in serious danger of serious danger and guided over to the edge of the street, intending to throw myself into the grass to stop my fall.

Well, I stopped my fall so well I think my brain flew out my eyes. I also smacked myself in the nose so hard that I was sure it was bleeding. I knocked the wind out of myself, gave myself a nasty raspberry on my knee and an immediate and intense headache. I am sitting here realizing that I feel like you feel after a minor car accident, whiplash and all. Tomorrow should be interesting.

I bounced up off the grass, lest anyone be enjoying themselves too much inside one of the houses, and carefully made my way back home. I am sitting with a bourbon and wondering if I should go back there and pick up the pieces of my brain.

I'll have to look carefully, though, amidst all those itsy bits of pride.