Gag

I had a wretched moment of GAG this morning.
I was barreling down the street, merrily barreling, as you do, when I saw a crow plucking at something. I figured it was some of the fast food trash that the fast living trash in the neighborhood eats and then promptly throws on the ground, preventing good upstanding citizens like the Pope and myself from SELLING THE GODDAMNED HOUSE, so I didn't think much of it at first.

As I drew closer, however, I realized that the crow was beak-plucking the dessicated, destroyed, bloody area where the head of a now dead mouse had been.

A crow was eating the head of a dead mouse.

I haven't previously thought much of crows, I find them to be thuggish and ugly, and their caw sounds too much like arrogant bitching for me to find it charming on a Saturday afternoon. But THIS. THIS is a reason to buy a BB gun.

Who knows when they will graduate from mouse to cat? And when that happens? War will be declared between Salome and Crows.

I will murder them in murders.
Mwah.