Sunday, June 10, 2007

What You Do

We threw a baby shower yesterday for my dear friend Gaia.
We threw it co-ed and things got out of hand, as all good parties do.

There was much drinking. There were shots.
My husband ended the night early, nauseous and complaining of a headache.

When I woke him this morning he said, "I don't feel well."
I gave him another 1/2 hour to sleep while I unloaded and loaded the dishwasher.
While I was doing that, I thought the following:

OF COURSE you don't feel well! You drank a lot!
That's kind of the deal you make when you drink.
You start talking to your body the day of the party, and you say,

Liver - going to need your help tonight. Have you been working out? Good.
Brain, be prepared, because you might hurt tomorrow, and please don't lose yourself and start being honest with people again. We've talked about that before, and Remorse is very upset about the last party, as are Guilt and Embarrassment. So let's keep it together here.
You talk to your Balance and you say, Keep Me Upright All Night, and I will take that yoga class you've been asking for.

After thinking a minute, you say, Gag Reflex? You might want to get a babysitter. Not sure if I'll need you, and fergodsake don't show up early, but I'm making Grandma's margaritas tonight, and you know how that goes.

Then you go to the party. You drink your ass off, and all the while, all your body parts are rooting for you (or against you, as the case may be) and you have a great time and you laugh loudly and then someone puts on dance music and you don't remember much else.

And your body hangs with you, and helps you recover the next day (or if you're in you 30s, the next three days) and that's the DEAL. You feel lousy because they're pissed at you, because they have their normal jobs, and then you throw overtime into the mix and THAT is why your body breaks down when you're in your 70s and 80s.

Because by that time you no longer call the shots for yourself, and the organs and other various functions have their way with you.

So what I really mean by all of this is, SUCK IT UP, POPE. You feel this way because you drank too much, NOW GET UP and help me unload the dishwasher.

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