Things You Can Count On

1. In a hotel, my husband will dry himself with the shower mat.

Honey, do you KNOW what that tiny, folded, thick towel by the bathtub is?

2. At a wedding, I will drink too much.

3. A dress that was tight in May, with unrestricted eating, will probably be uncomfortably and unflatteringly tight when you bust it out on the day of and at the place of a wedding ceremony in September.

These are three things you can count on.