Sunday, March 09, 2008


*Supposed to be posting daily for the month of March.  Whoops.
*Supposed to be on Weight Watchers, but fucked off all this weekend.  Dammit.
*Should be passed out right now, what with the bottle of wine I just drank.
*I broke something just now.  It felt good.  

That fucking thing was asking to be broken.
I should have broken it MONTHS ago.

I am unhappy.
I lie in bed and think, where did my life go?  

Why am I so stuck and so poised on the edge of unhappiness all the time?
How did I get so stuck?

What I want to do is QUIT.
I want to SELL.
I want safeguard my three dear kitties with someone who will love them.
I want to throw all my possessions into a large body of water, take a baseball bat to some, and then join the Peace Corps.  Or the circus.  Or something that matters more to me than this fucking empty rat-fucking-race of life.

Is there any way to get unstuck?  
Or do you find yourself in your thirties, do you just find yourself there and then, there is where you are?  

I hate this.
I'm going to bed.
I have to.  
I must remember that I need to get up in the morning, to go to that place I hate and do that job I despise, for people I no longer respect.  

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