Monday, August 11, 2008

Sort of Back

I'm sort of back.
That is, I can get online after my husband is done working for the day.
But by that time I feel as if I've missed the day.

I've been tired the last two days and my dreams are still full of anxiety.
I wake up feeling worse than I did when I went to sleep.

My mom has booked a ticket to come out to see me this weekend.
At the age of 33, nearing 34, and expecting my first baby, I can safely say that I need my mom.

Tomorrow I'm off to babysit my darling nieces, who always cheer me up.
I'm lonely and stressed and tired. I'm very very tired.

The heat in Sacramento is unending. It saps the very soul right out of you.
As much as I wished for no rain, I did not wish to be fried everytime I walked outside. We've let the cats out and they usually come right back in. They are obviously still Seattle cats.

Although Lucy senses that something is wrong with me. She doesn't leave my side, and spends every available moment clinging to a part of me, purring and squeaking at me. I think she's trying to tell me that everything will be okay.

I certainly hope so. It is time for some things to start being okay.

Maybe once the baby is born I won't feel so desperately lonely.


Anonymous said...

I'm sorry your going through such a hard time :-( Remember you still have friends in Seattle who will help you ease your burden. You've allways had a way of making lemons into lemonaide or atleast really good margarites(ha ha) Giving you strength and love.


Alex said...

this blog post makes me unhappy, especially when it was awesome seeing you again.

if you need company, just let me know!

thank you for sharing our wedding with us, it was great seeing you


skroll said...

I'm glad your mom is coming to see you at what I know is hell for you right now. Remember the blessing growing inside you and that this too shall pass. I love you and desperatly miss you!

Alex said...

i just saw andrew's blog and thought this would make you happy in case you haven't seen it: