Things I Do

• Drink so many margaritas that I lose my train of thought - on EVERY SENTENCE from 9:00pm until 3:00am. Talking to me last Saturday night must have been like trying to pry information from an amnesiac.
• Prepare a lovely and well-balanced lunch for myself - bring it to work and then sit there and think about it to too much and eat the entire thing by 9:15am.
• Wear that sweater with the hole in the armpit and forget about the hole in the armpit until I stretch my arms behind my head (I also do that a lot) and then remember about the hole in my armpit at the exact same time that everyone in my meeting realizes I have a hole in my armpit.