Oh, and FYI

Dear Lady Vesuvius Ass,

It is officially official. You need to see a doctor. Also, please look under the dictionary under thoughtless, disgusting pig. You will find a picture of yourself there, snapped next to the horrifying sight of the toilet after you've visited.

You are a cretin,

Salome

Dear Sears,

HA! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Take that you bitches! One year old fridge issue is that THE COMPRESSOR is broken, and I DO read the manuals, so that would be covered under the 5 year warranty for sealed components, HMMM???????

Thank You Mr. Nice Repairman Who Knew When The Jig Was Up,

Salome

Conversation:

Salome: What do you think the problem is?
Repairman: Oh it is definitely the compressor. You can tell by the way it whines and clicks on and off, futilely.
Salome: You don't say.....Is that what you're officially diagnosing the problem as?
Repairman: Yes. Absolutely. I'm just ordering the parts necessary.
Salome: That would be covered under the 5 year sealed warranty outlined on page 6 of the manual, right?
Repairman: It depends. You have to read those carefully, because they are worded oddly, and unless it specifically called out exactly that the compressor is covered, it isn't covered.
Salome: Read this with me, then. "blah de blah blah, including refrigerant lines, condenser unit and compressor, no charge."
Repairman: Well, again it depends on the wording.
Salome: Seems clear to me.
Repairman: (looks up at me, sighs) Yes. It is fully covered by the 5 year full warranty.
Salome: Glad we agree. See you in two weeks with the parts necessary.