In the Weeds

It's been a while, I know.

Work has sucked lately. It has sucked, I have sucked at it, and life sucked thusly.

I've finally decided that I'm fat enough to really get motivated about getting UNfat.

Three times working out at the gym this week. Still get done and skip crunches or ab-work, because, honestly? I don't know what I'm doing there and always feel stupid. I saw this teeny woman doing a series of serious ab work and I was floored. I decided right then and there to have six banana splits when I got home. Just to temper the disappointment in my own shape. Ya know.

We don't really have the fixings for banana splits at home.
I know this because if we did I would have stress-eaten them all, separately, this week.

I got a lot of sleep last night and came in this morning to work, refreshed and enervated.
It was a full 30 minutes before I said, "I totally fucking HATE my job."

Which is excellent, this past week considered.

I have fun things planned for this weekend, Baby Brody turns 1!!!
For those of you who don't know who he is, let me just tell you, he is the most precious little guy you've ever met. He is the kind of cute that makes your ovaries release eggs and your pheromones go crazy, pumping out enough scent to attract all the dogs in Wisconsin.

Yes, honestly, he's that cute. Holding him makes my husband want a baby.
Holding him makes me want a baby. Actually, a baby like him. Because holding him kind of makes me worried that there's no way my temperament could ever produce a child this mellow and happy. Mine will be screaming constantly and will smoke at the age of 6 months.

I am sure of this.

Thinking about all of this has made me want to pull my husband into the bedroom and try to convince him to have a baby 6 months earlier than we've been planning to try to have one.

Excuse me.