Dear Pet Products Store Catered to Soft Hearts Like Me,
You have not replied to my recent letter.
I find this troubling on many levels, not the least of which is that I have bought so many useless things from you and your horrid, spawning retail chains that I probably financed the new store in Frozen'roid, North Dakota.
I am compelled to send you another urgent missive. I am quite upset and find you guilty as about to be charged.
When you charge $42** for the pheromone things YOU NEED TO PUT A DIRECTIONAL ON THEM SO THAT I DON'T PLUG THEM IN UPSIDE DOWN AND THEN ALLOW THE OIL TO DRIP THROUGH THE APPARENTLY GOLD-FUCKING PLATED INNARDS AND CAUSE THE HOUSE TO SMELL LIKE BURNING PLASTIC WHICH MAKES ME REMOVE THEM SO THAT THEY DON'T SET THE HOUSE ON FIRE WHEN I'M AT WORK AND BURN MY PSYCHOTIC CATS TO DEATH.
Which doesn't sound all that bad, come to think of it.
It was expensive and they are ruined and it is all because I'm an idiot and wasn't thinking and to be honest with you, THAT NEEDS TO BE SOMEONE ELSE'S FAULT this time.
Kindly respond and tell me who I can scream at,
Salome
**EACH!!
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