Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Embarrassing Journal Entry

January 16, 1996

It's so depressing to be right when you hope so desperately to be wrong.
There's no one even to say, "I told you so," to.
Because it is only to yourself, and you fucking knew it already.

Damn. He's not at all feeling like I am, and he USED to, and so I JUST CAN'T GET IT!
I just can't believe he no longer cares like I do.
I just don't understand.

The first man to say he loved me, forgot all that, or put it aside, or left it at the bus stop, or whatever the hell they DO when they shrug it aside, 3 months later.

And it was BECAUSE I left.
So I cannot rightly be mad, or upset, though I am, and my heart RIPS in quick, time-elapse motions.

Ah, love, the pain familiar.
The pain familiar.

Keep your smile, Salome.
Look as if you're still in one piece.

Shattered does not become a lady,
bloody never has.

1 comment:

Jonathan said...

It's a constant source of the best writing, isn't it - women trying to understand men, and men trying to understand women :)

Great post.