Wednesday, November 14, 2007

This is When You Know You're a Parent

I always wonder if I'd be a good parent. Will I know when to take them to the doctor? Will I just instinctively know when something is wrong enough to rush them for help?

I know it seems like a weird thing to worry about, but I'm such an ostrich about my own health issues I just feel like I will ignore something serious, or wait too long to attend to it.

Last night when I got home from work the Cleo had a runny eye. Just a bit of eye snot, streaking down from her left eye. Like gummy tears.

We went and worked out. When we got home, her eye had swelled dramatically and the eye snot was now yellow and bright green. Her whole eye was red. I scooped her up and we sped to the all night vet hospital. Her poor eye, guys. It was HUGE. There appeared to be a huge lump under it, the membranes swollen, and she could barely blink it, it was so full of gunk.

They saw her almost immediately, and she was such a champ! Such a brave vet kitty! We were so proud! The vet gave her a numbing eye drop and then irrigated her eye with saline, and used about 10 gauze pads to wipe away all the snot. It was a really gunky eye. He dropped a bit of dye in it, to check for corneal scratches, and when it was confirmed she didn't have any, he gave her some antibiotic ointment (in her EYE, oh barf!) and sent us on our way.

So I guess I've answered two questions, here. One I mentioned at the beginning of the post, and one that my heart has been asking these last four months.

Am I a good mom? I think so.
And do I love Cleo? Is she part of my heart?

Yes, absolutely.
I saw her, hunched and miserable, but still so loving and sweet, and everything in my body responded and said, "Oh Honey!" Oh Honey, come here. You need help, and I will find it for you. You need fixing, and I will get you fixed. You need love, and come here, honey, right into my arms. I will fix you and protect you from all the harms that could come your way. You are my baby girl.

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